How to Win Twitter Arguments with Ass-Hat City Council Members
by Brooke Asschin (Resident Social Media Expert) and The Editor
This one's been sitting in the drafts folder for a little while because I've been waiting for the right moment to post it. While I suppose there's never a bad time to post this, there certainly won't be a better time to post this than right now. Calling out local politicians for their racist policies and tweets is really the least that any of us can do, so if you haven't yet started here's what you need to know.
If you haven't been paying attention, the 2016 Presidential Election upended a lot of norms, both political and societal. Where once if, say, an elected Government official had called someone "fucking nuts" they would have to apologize and then be shamed out of office, now you can do that and face little backlash.
Why is this? Well, think about how many times you've seen a prominent Liberal twitter account tweet something like, "if Liberals had done this the right would have had 7 investigations into it." The right doesn't care because they're playing dirty (not to say the left is incapable of playing dirty, this is just what's happening right now.) For them, holding Democrats to a high moral standard was never about making sure our leaders were doing the right thing. It was about making sure their agenda could move forward at any cost.
Unfortunately for us in Fresno, we've got some dirty players right here.
Fortunately, it's possible to win Twitter arguments with them. For whatever that's worth. Here's how.
First, don't try to argue with Clint Olivier. If he even gets a whiff that you disagree with him he'll block you, and there's no point in arguing with a closed door. I mean, you can try if you want but it's probably not going to go anywhere. If you've got mud to sling at him, sling it in the City Council chambers where he can't hide from you.
Second, you must entice them into arguing with you. It's not difficult, as they are often willing to shirk their responsibilities of governing the city in order to retweet Kelly Anne Conway. Honestly, I think they're mostly just tweeting stuff to start arguments in the first place. You can simply tweet them "covfefe is a confession" to get the response of "fake news!" From there you can follow the Corin Hoggard way and just repeatedly send them statistics on CNN ratings vs Fox News. Beware, this will send them into a tizzy in such a way that they will inevitably call YOU "fake news" and move on.
This brings us to our third point, which is to insult them occasionally. Not like Kathy Griffin crazy, but you know, call them things your 6 year old would call someone on the playground. Something that will annoy them to their core. "Fart face, butt wipe, Kapernick fan." What you want to do is make them feel stupid for holding the positions they do, cause, let's be honest, a lot of their positions are pretty stupid. Like banning recreational marijuana businesses for some "moral" reason, missing out on millions in potential tax revenue. That's a no brainer, which incidentally describes the brain situation in Garry Bredefeld's head. (See, that's how you do it right there.)
Fourth, don't forget to keep it real and send them facts. Again and again, inundate them with articles and screenshots of tweets. Bring up Russia as frequently as you bring up "in God we trust" and cite the constitution as your source. I mean, dare we say it, compare Fresno to Hanford and let the heads roll about "the moral compass of this city."
You know the job is well done when they either start babbling about "her emails" or about the FAX users who don't know how good they got it because the high speed rail is going to put us all out of business. And if Steve Brandau mentions "participation trophies" you know you're about to hit it home.
But the best response of all is no response at all. If the guys who love to argue won't argue, it's because they can't. If you get silence from them, let me know and I'll head on down to Fresno Trophy to get you a participation trophy.
Call it a day and screen shot their worst responses so that you can either feel pride in having owned an elected official or so that you can pull it out and cry when they get reelected by North Fresno. Cause it'll happen. Because, at the end of the day, the people voting for these people don't care.
Fresno City Councilmember Steve Brandau demonstrating....something
This one's been sitting in the drafts folder for a little while because I've been waiting for the right moment to post it. While I suppose there's never a bad time to post this, there certainly won't be a better time to post this than right now. Calling out local politicians for their racist policies and tweets is really the least that any of us can do, so if you haven't yet started here's what you need to know.
If you haven't been paying attention, the 2016 Presidential Election upended a lot of norms, both political and societal. Where once if, say, an elected Government official had called someone "fucking nuts" they would have to apologize and then be shamed out of office, now you can do that and face little backlash.
Why is this? Well, think about how many times you've seen a prominent Liberal twitter account tweet something like, "if Liberals had done this the right would have had 7 investigations into it." The right doesn't care because they're playing dirty (not to say the left is incapable of playing dirty, this is just what's happening right now.) For them, holding Democrats to a high moral standard was never about making sure our leaders were doing the right thing. It was about making sure their agenda could move forward at any cost.
Unfortunately for us in Fresno, we've got some dirty players right here.
Fortunately, it's possible to win Twitter arguments with them. For whatever that's worth. Here's how.
First, don't try to argue with Clint Olivier. If he even gets a whiff that you disagree with him he'll block you, and there's no point in arguing with a closed door. I mean, you can try if you want but it's probably not going to go anywhere. If you've got mud to sling at him, sling it in the City Council chambers where he can't hide from you.
Second, you must entice them into arguing with you. It's not difficult, as they are often willing to shirk their responsibilities of governing the city in order to retweet Kelly Anne Conway. Honestly, I think they're mostly just tweeting stuff to start arguments in the first place. You can simply tweet them "covfefe is a confession" to get the response of "fake news!" From there you can follow the Corin Hoggard way and just repeatedly send them statistics on CNN ratings vs Fox News. Beware, this will send them into a tizzy in such a way that they will inevitably call YOU "fake news" and move on.
This brings us to our third point, which is to insult them occasionally. Not like Kathy Griffin crazy, but you know, call them things your 6 year old would call someone on the playground. Something that will annoy them to their core. "Fart face, butt wipe, Kapernick fan." What you want to do is make them feel stupid for holding the positions they do, cause, let's be honest, a lot of their positions are pretty stupid. Like banning recreational marijuana businesses for some "moral" reason, missing out on millions in potential tax revenue. That's a no brainer, which incidentally describes the brain situation in Garry Bredefeld's head. (See, that's how you do it right there.)
Fourth, don't forget to keep it real and send them facts. Again and again, inundate them with articles and screenshots of tweets. Bring up Russia as frequently as you bring up "in God we trust" and cite the constitution as your source. I mean, dare we say it, compare Fresno to Hanford and let the heads roll about "the moral compass of this city."
You know the job is well done when they either start babbling about "her emails" or about the FAX users who don't know how good they got it because the high speed rail is going to put us all out of business. And if Steve Brandau mentions "participation trophies" you know you're about to hit it home.
But the best response of all is no response at all. If the guys who love to argue won't argue, it's because they can't. If you get silence from them, let me know and I'll head on down to Fresno Trophy to get you a participation trophy.
Call it a day and screen shot their worst responses so that you can either feel pride in having owned an elected official or so that you can pull it out and cry when they get reelected by North Fresno. Cause it'll happen. Because, at the end of the day, the people voting for these people don't care.
Comments
Post a Comment