How to Name a District

by The Editor

The annual State of Downtown happened the other night, and with it came the announcement of a new "Brewery District" or "Ale Trail". The reaction to this announcement has been palpable if not overwhelmingly positive. The question is, does Downtown Fresno need a new district AND can it even handle a new district? I've decided to put together the ultimate guide to labeling districts in our city.


For an area of our city to qualify as a district, it must meet these qualifications:

1. Comprises an area of no greater than 1 (one) square mile and no less than 1 (one) square quarter mile.
2. As per the Oxford Dictionary definition of a district, it must be "a distinct unit because of a particular characteristic."
1. This can be defined as 10 (ten) or more businesses, buildings, or other geographical, architectural, or natural fixtures.
3.  The district in question cannot be broken into other unique districts.

Now, if you plug in existing districts into this they should pass. For instance, look at the Tower District. It is commonly defined as existing between McKinley, Belmont, Palm, and Blackstone, which is a unit of 1 (one) square mile. Technically, it extends west of Palm, but no one actually calls that area Tower. It has a "particular characteristic" which is "vintage trash" and that aesthetic is spread out over more than 10 businesses. Lastly, the Tower District cannot be broken into other unique districts. It can, however, be broken into unique quarters.

This brings me to our next sub-definition, quarters. A quarter is hereby defined as:

1. An area of our city that is a part of an existing district that can be listed as its own subset, however it cannot qualify as a district on its own.
2. As per the Oxford Dictionary definition of a quarter, it must be "a part of a town or city having a specific character or use."
3. A quarter may not comprise an area greater than 1 (one) square quarter mile.

So, here's where we're at:

1. Downtown Fresno is itself not a district as it fits a definition that is larger than a district and comprises other districts. It can be referred to henceforth as a region.
2. The Mural District qualifies as a district and so does the Fulton District.
3. South Stadium isn't a thing.
4.  This new "Brewery District" is not a district and henceforth can only be referred to as "the Brewery Quarter" which is a subset of the Fulton District. This can be reevaluated once the number of breweries reaches 10 (ten). (Also, who didn't think to include Lanna Coffee as a brewery? They brew coffee, you nerds.) I'm guessing at this point, the southeastern end of the Fulton district will break off to form the Brewery District.
5. We need to be more creative with the way we're naming these areas. We don't call the Tower District the "Vintage Trash" District. We call it the Tower District because there's a weird phallus on top of one of the buildings. Just apply that principle to these new burgeoning districts.

There you go. This is now final and official, and I think you will also find it airtight. If you have questions, comments, or addendums, keep them to yourself. I definitely don't want to hear them.