BREAKING NEWS: Breitbart Accuses GBF of Fake News Theft

by Perry Champlain

Fresno, CA - In a bold and unexpected move, Breitbart News has issued a “Cease and Desist” order to this humble little mom & pop blog. The Good, The Bad, and The Fresno has been legally ordered to stop making up “News Stories.”

Breitbart’s “lawyers” layed out the groundwork for some big lawsuit in a five-thousand(ish) page legal thingy, or whatever, that showed up on our office’s doorstep last Wednesday. The only reason that we even signed for that package was because it was like three in the afternoon when the FedEx guy showed up. By that time, our office is pretty mellowed out.

We thought it was a gift from Breitbart.

Who wouldn’t want a gift from Breitbart?

We opened it expecting a bouquet of roses, but instead we were greeted with a bunch of those packing peanuts that are edible, but don’t taste very good.

After that slap in the face, we were gifted with something wrapped in that weird foamy wrapping paper stuff that books from Amazon come in, so we were extra careful when we opened it.

But that’s where the bad (fake?) news hit us. According to Breitbart, GBF has unlawfully stolen the right to make up fake news articles. We know this because they told us.

So, what should GBF do!? This unchecked agression should not stand, right?

I tried to run a lot of ideas past the staff here, but they were kinda passed out and/or out to lunch, so I’m in control now.

This is Perry at the helm, and I assure you that the shi..p is finnee.