Word on the (Fulton) Street: April 19th, 2016

by Sam Joaquin

The Fulton Street Development/Treepocalypse 2016 has been ongoing, and what impressive strides they have made. While things are still in the “tearing shit up” phase, it’s exciting to see the progress. The sculptures (members of the famed Fulton 15) were packed in bubble wrap and carted off to be polished and fixed up. Although construction hasn’t even started on the Mariposa Mall, the Renoir sculpture, “La Grand Laveuse” is already gone. We eagerly await her return, hopefully with some clean clothes.

Renoir no-more! 

I spoke with a woman working on the sculpture renovation, and she assured me that they will be well taken care of. They will be hauled all the way down to sunny L.A., where they will go to the art equivalent of a day spa, being pampered and massaged back to their former beauty.

"Yokuts Native American", colloquially referred to as "the naked Indian statue", has begun his spa retreat early. This bubble wrap treatment will rejuvenate those cellulitey thighs. 

As I mentioned last time, a LOT of the trees had to go, and it turns out that they will be put to a good use – some guy takes the wood and makes stuff out of it, and then sells it for more than it’s worth because the wood came from the mall. This is ironic on so many levels: it’s so Stuff White People Like, except that white people haven’t actually liked anything on the Fulton Mall for 40 years. Only in Fresno would a dead tree be more coveted than a live one. On the bright (shady?) side, a few of the elm trees were able to be kept, so there’s that.

These Elms were deemed inoffensive enough to remain on the transformed Fulton Street.

After the trees were cleared, the really big machines “lumbered” (see what I did there?) onto the mall and started really pounding pavement. Or sidewalk. Whatever it is, it aint there anymore! Taking a cue from the reclaimed wood project, GBF will be selling paper weights, aquarium ornaments, and gravel that was once a part of the Fulton Mall for $24.95/lb. Each order comes with a certificate of authenticity written on real garbage gleaned from the trash containers there.

The GBF “Mall Paperweight Recovery Unit” in action. 

With the mall removed, the soil under it was warmed by the Valley Sun for the first time in since the 1960’s. Preparations will soon be made to cover it again, this time with black asphalt that will absorb the heat and draw Fresnans like moths to a flame, paving the way for the glorious rebirth of Downtown Fresno.

As the sun sets on the Mall, a sunrise awaits.

Stay tuned to GBF, we will be your source for all things Fulton Street in the months to come.