GBF's Best Craft Beer Bar in Fresno

by Perry Champlain, Resident Drunk

Well, hello again. I didn't see you sitting there. It's me, Perry Champlain. Why don't you cozy on up next to me on this stool here cause we're about to break down the nominees for Fresno's Best Craft Beer Bar.

And if you think Yard House is gonna be on this list you've got another thing coming. That place is a SCAM. Don't believe me? Next time you're in there because you like waiting an hour to get a table at a place that has the exact same selection of beer as Bevmo, pour a pint of water into an empty "half yard" glass.

Craft Beer is relatively new to the scene. Not that they haven't been making it for a while. It's just gotten hella popular lately. While I'm glad to taste something other than corn in my beer, I don't necessarily need quite the selection that is available. However, craft beer offers me something which normal beer can't: a rockin' buzz!

Oh man, that buzz! It's similar to the wine buzz but with an extra dash of giddyness. You'll hear a song come on and you've probably never even heard it before but it'll make you feel happier than you've ever felt in your whole life.

Anyways. Fresno, here are your nominees.

Spokeasy

A long ass time ago, Schnauz man wrote about this place, and I still have to agree with his sentiments. When they first opened, they were trying to be all "barcade", but that never really panned out. Their arcade games are all busted and the ski-ball isn't regulation length. If the arcade games are there for entertainment, they've failed at that. A $50 dart board or a couple dice cups would be more effective than a jankey Ms. Pac Man machine.

But Spokeasy has always been a nice, quiet place to get drunk. Whether you're with friends or alone. I don't care. And you'd be hard pressed to find a place with more knowledge or a choicer selection of craft beer. Even our next nominee.

Goldstein's Mortuary & Delicatessen

Have you been here? Maybe you haven't because there's no sign outside. (Or maybe there is and I'm too drunk to notice,)

Goldstein's is still pretty fresh, but I like it I guess. They have the opposite approach that Spokeasy does. Instead of having a carefully curated selection, they say, "screw it, get em all." 

And Lord knows they got them all.

Some of it is truly awful. But at least they let me make that choice for myself.

But what's with that live music? I'm almost positive people don't go there to have some crappy local music blasted in their ears. Whatever. I'm over it.

Peeve's(?)

I'm torn on whether or not to include this place. They used to have that craft beer on lock, and now...well, it's not the same. It seems they ignored The Editor's suggestions. 

I guess I'll include it. Lord knows I'd never hear the end of it if I didn't.

VOTING HAS CLOSED