Student Newspaper Compares Bernie Sanders to "The Hamburglar"

by The Editor

The Hambernglar

FRESNO, CA- California State University, Fresno is still reeling after its beloved student-run newspaper The Collegian released an editorial comparing Donald Trump to Adolf Hitler. Despite a polarized response from both students and faculty, the paper stands by the decision to publish the editorial.

This morning, The Collegian released the following statement:

Due to the unreal exposure we received from publishing our "Trumpler" editorial, we've decided to take a break from all that sweet Ultimate Frisbee we've been playing to write more articles comparing various presidential hopefuls to other famous characters. The first will be Bernie Sanders, who we think is a lot like Hamilton B. Urglar (aka "The Hamburglar"). Later, we'll post one where we compare Ted Cruz to Pepe Le Pew.

A few minutes later, an article titled "Feel the Bern-ger: Living As the Thief of McDonaldland in Bernie Sanders America" and it was accompanied by the photoshopped image above.

There's really no point in trying to chop up the article, so here it is in its full.

We took a lot of heat for that Trump article, so we're going to go after the guy on the opposite end of the spectrum. Now people can't say we're biased.

Bernie is a lot like the Hamburglar because they both started out as the villains. The Hamburglar was stealing all of Ron McDon's burgs, and Bernie was trying to steal all the votes from Hill Clinton. That's messed up. But now, everyone loves both the Hamburglar and Bernie Man. That's pretty cool.

They're both also always trying to take from the rich and give to the poor. Although, I guess "the poor" in the 'Burglar's case is himself...maybe that comparison doesn't work.

Let's see...what else...Oh! They're both hella cute. Look at that little smile on Bernie's face. Let's just let him have all the burgers.

I don't know guys, that's all I've got. Can I go back to my dorm and play Xbox now? 

There has been no word yet on whether or not Mr. Sanders has seen the article. If he is interested in giving an exclusive response, GBF would be more than happy to interview him.