Supreme Court to Decide Constitutionality of "Food Porn" in Landmark Case

by The Editor

FRESNO, CA- Shortly after opening its doors in 2013, local restaurant/bar/store/music venue/movie theater/bathroom Peeve's Public House came under fire from local authorities--led by Republican Mayor Ashley "SwearBear" Swearengin--after posting obscene materials known as "Food Porn" online. After years of legal strife, the case has finally made its way to the Supreme Court.

An example of "Food Porn" with necessary bits blocked out

When asked for comment, SwearBear's office said, "We have to think of the children. Anyone can be on FacePlace or InstaGraham these days, and the last thing they need to be bombarded with are pictures of nice, juicy clams or a hot beefcake."

"That's absurd," said Craig Scharton, owner of Peeve's, "we're just trying to show off our goods." The case, Peeve v. SwearBear, will once again put local obscenity standards to the test, as previously decided in the case Miller v. California. "It's just a shame that the case will have to be heard by the Roberts court and not the Burger court of 30 years ago," Scharton added.

Scharton says he expects the local community to be on his side, citing a long history of backing local restaurants, foodies, and even places that do things that don't make sense.

A decision in this landmark case is expected later this year.