BREAKING NEWS: "Dusty Buns" changes name to "Busty Huns"
by Mike Schnauz
Fresno, CA- In the wake of declining sales and loss of interest, Dusty Buns owner and head fry cook Dustin E. Bun has announced that he will be changing the name of his local establishment to Busty Huns.
"We really feel like there is a broader audience that we could be attracting--in particular, those who love breasts," said Bun Wednesday at a press conference. "All sandwiches will now be made with plump, grade-A, King's Chicken Breast, and all of our famous buns, once notable for their flour coating, will now feature pepperoni nipples."
The move comes as somewhat of a shock to many of its frequent customers who claim it has a long history of being a family establishment.
"I would go in there and see kids running around, drawing on the walls, playing with crumbs under the tables. I don't know if I would feel comfortable bringing my child in there anymore," said a local mother who wished not to be named. She quickly added, "except maybe a newborn. Those little bitches see titties all the time."
There's also been talk of adding papier-mache breasts to the outside of the Food Truck, which has now been renamed, "The Titty Wagon."
All of this has been done in the name of attracting a wider audience. "There are a lot of people who may never try our delicious buns because they perceive us as being too wholesome," said Bun. "We're just trying to reach more people; to spread our buns as far as we can."
The name will officially go in to effect on the first of the year.
Fresno, CA- In the wake of declining sales and loss of interest, Dusty Buns owner and head fry cook Dustin E. Bun has announced that he will be changing the name of his local establishment to Busty Huns.
"We really feel like there is a broader audience that we could be attracting--in particular, those who love breasts," said Bun Wednesday at a press conference. "All sandwiches will now be made with plump, grade-A, King's Chicken Breast, and all of our famous buns, once notable for their flour coating, will now feature pepperoni nipples."
The move comes as somewhat of a shock to many of its frequent customers who claim it has a long history of being a family establishment.
"I would go in there and see kids running around, drawing on the walls, playing with crumbs under the tables. I don't know if I would feel comfortable bringing my child in there anymore," said a local mother who wished not to be named. She quickly added, "except maybe a newborn. Those little bitches see titties all the time."
There's also been talk of adding papier-mache breasts to the outside of the Food Truck, which has now been renamed, "The Titty Wagon."
All of this has been done in the name of attracting a wider audience. "There are a lot of people who may never try our delicious buns because they perceive us as being too wholesome," said Bun. "We're just trying to reach more people; to spread our buns as far as we can."
The name will officially go in to effect on the first of the year.
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