Sny Sneedly's Review of Dusty Buns Bistro
By Sny Sneedly (not read or edited by Mike Schnauz)
So check it out: I’m
gonna deconstruct this fancy grilled cheese. But keep in mind that
this really isn’t about the food at all, it’s about the overall attitude
of the place. Shit, I haven’t even had the grilled cheese
there, and I’m not gonna. Why? Because you’d have
to be drunk to spend $7.00 on a grilled-cheese sandwich, and I’m not drunk yet.
If you want to spend that kind of money, on a grilled-cheese, be my
guest, but first allow me to explain exactly what you’re paying so much for.
It’s just fancy grease-bomb food, like if Martha Stewart had
a secret lost twin, and she was a carnie. Aged
cheese just means that this stuff has been sitting around, not that it’s any
better. I always thought that “aged” was a funny way to describe
food, especially if it’s intended to be a positive term.
Technically, Ancient Age whiskey is aged, and that shit is
horrible! Imagine how it tasted before they let it sit around! Applewood
bacon is hot in the culinary world right now, as you may have noticed if you’ve
been perusing the Wendy’s dollar menu lately. “King
Spinach”? Is that even really a thing? Cuz our research
department over here googled it, and nothing came up. Here’s what
it really is: an unnecessary adjective. All of the food there
is just like normal food, but with a fancy descriptive term in front of it that
apparently, doubles the price. It must be because of that expensive
food thesaurus they have to run all the names through before they put them on
the menu. So if you’re drunk, or a sucker, or a drunk sucker, then
by all means go buy that grilled cheese. And after you do, tell me how it
was, because I’m not gonna buy one.
Dusty Buns Bistro:
6/10 stars.
Eat the sandwich bud. Its worth it... #fuckyoutrustme
ReplyDeleteI second the #fuckyoutrustme
DeleteOh, wow. . . I'm so jonesing for some bacon-cheese action. Since I don't have any cheese -aged or otherwise- in my house and certainly don't have any of the delicious breads that are the foundation of Dusty Buns' offerings, and I have $10 for lunch, I think I will walk myself the two blocks over to Wishon and pick up a Le Grilled from DB. I don't know if you're right about all that other stuff, but I do know that I like THAT grilled cheese sandwich and so I shall go buy one. Today.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the inspiration!
You have lost all credibility, your only apparent purpose here is to tear down things others like, I have no need for that....
ReplyDeleteHAHA...good stuff!First off,Dusty Buns is a horrible name for a place that serves food(Hint...don't incorporate filthy adjectives in a restaurant business name no matter how "different" or cool it sounds).Strike one.Next strike is actually having a grilled cheese sandwich on the menu.That's basic kid food.Might as well sell a hot-dog wiener wrapped in a tortilla for $7 too.You are getting flack for not trying the sandwich first,but I also wouldn't buy one.
ReplyDeleteso, they took your two strikes and crushed the next pitch for a homerun. their bus, always busy. their restaurant, always busy. their food is quality is high, it's local, it's organic. good food costs money.
Deletebtw, when was the last time you had a sandwich at a restaurant that wasn't $7 or more?
Tower Rat District is not hard to please...lol...and not saying that they don't serve great edible food.But when all these town-retalizing blogging fools stop giving handjobs for the sake of crowning themselves as people saving Fresno business(outside Fresno...majority don't give a shit)...then bloggers like Mike Schnauze won't have nothing to say.He's just going through the hype that other entities out there put out.He, like me,don't buy into that...probably more out there too.Dusty Buns name in mind (never been there) sounds to close to "Dirty Ass"...so don't attact me cause that's the way my mind works.Their food could be fantastic.BUt since they are so busy as you say...they could strike the grilled cheese and still be successful like other restaurants in the tower whether good or bad...get the business continued.Tower is a great location,quality of eateries are just as good as any other place as a whole...nothing more..but not saying that that itself isn't incredible either.
Deleteno one is attacking you. i did ask you a question, which you failed to answer. so, let's try again, when was the last time you had a sandwich at a restaurant that wasn't $7 or more? and here's another question, why would critique a restaurant that you've never eaten at, a sandwich you've never tried?
DeleteYour question didn't pertain to me cause I don't order sandwiches unless it's a sandwich shop. I agree with the blogger for never trying the grilled cheese and saying "What the Hell...why is this on a menu?".It's a note-worthy reason or example of how not every business can please everyone and they may not go to Dusty Buns when they think about that as well.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHello Kimberly,
DeleteI have one quick criticism of your comment. We have never claimed to be "food critics." Perhaps you should check your facts before you go quoting us (that's what quotation marks denote, in case you were wondering.)
Thanks for stopping by!
-Mike Schnauz
You don't have to be a food critic to think that grilled cheese on a menu sounds rediculous unless the words "Kid Section" is written nearby.
DeleteI agree with the review?,, yeah lets go with review.. because before eating the highly debated grilled cheese I would refer to DB as "That Hipster Restaurant" or "That Hippie Bullshit" to my brother. For the reasons stated in the review, making up crap to make there tacos seem like they weren't just fancy over priced tacos.With that said, the food is good, and a nice change and healthier choice for my fat ass whenever I go out to eat. so I guess, I'm gonna grab my flannel,scarf in the middle of summer and Support Dusty Buns
ReplyDelete